Crazy World

This last month has been such a month of emotions.  I have realized more then ever lately that God is in control.  It is so important to live our lives as we should each and every day.  We should love all those around us and forgive and foget.  We truly never know when it will be our turn to return to our Heavenly Father.  I can't even imagine my life without Jake or my kids.  I don't like to imagine that.  That is honestly my worst fear.  Each day Jake leaves for work I pray that he will return home.  When the kids and I go to bed at night and say family prayer, we pray that Dad will be safe and return home.  Unless you know someone that works in law enforcement or know what that person does daily, you may not realize how much they put their lives on the line each day.  With the line of work Jake is in, and his specific duties at this moment, I worry more then I have in a long time.  These criminals truly don't care about anyone.  They really have nothing to lose. 

A girl I went to highschool with has recently been diagnosed with brain cancer.  As I have read her Blog and followed her journey, my heart just breaks for her and her family.  They have no idea how much longer she will be here with them.  She has 5 young children and a husband.  Everytime I read her blog I cry.

This week a friend that I went to college with and worked with was in HI with his sweet wife.  She was killed in a motorcycle accident while they were sight seeing.  Her poor 4 children will never see their mother again during this life.  My friend took his wife on a wonderful vacation, not knowing it would be their last moments together. I can't even imagine how he is feeling.  I haven't seen him in 13 years, well I actually ran into him a month ago and talked for a few minutes, but my heart is so sad for him right now. Last night I hugged my kids tighter then normal and was thankful that I was here to be able to hug them and hear them be crazy.

Then Border agent Ivie, he is out serving and protecting our country when a sad, sad incident occurs and he is killed.  I am 100% sure his wife worried about him.  Working the border is a very scary job, those crossing the border have nothing to lose, they will kill you, they don't care.  But deep in her heart, I am sure she knew he would be okay.  She is now left without her husband and has her two kiddos to support.  Watching the news coverage of his funeral in AZ and how many people showed up to pay their respects to him.  Watching the plane land at the airport last night and how many officers, that don't even know him, showed up to escort his body to Utah County, it was amazing.  I bawled. 

My calling, Compassionate Service, has really made me realize how blessed I really am.  I am so thankful for my health and my families health.  I am thankful that I have an amazing husband who has the spirit in his life and listens to it and follows the promptings he is given.  I am also so thankful that we have the gospel in our lives and that we know of our plan.  We know that families are eternal.  I can honestly say that in the moment, I don't know that it would help, but eventually I know it would help me find some kind of peace.  We have been married for 12 years, which is nothing compared to eternity!

Anyway, I just felt so much emotion this week that I figured writing down would help me.  Now if this day can go by fast, Jake has some crazy stuff going on and I would like it to be all over with!!