Stuff

This week has been really hard for me ... if you have called, seen me or talked to me and I was rude, I am so sorry! I feel like I need to explain, so people don't think I am the devil.
It all started a few months ago .....
As most of you know, it is very hard for me to get pregnant, it took me years and years to get pregnant with Marshall and then 2+ years to get pregnant with kambria. I always thought that It would be perfect to have 4 children 2 years apart. Well obviously heavenly father had a different idea. Marshall and Kam are 4 years apart, and I have to have C-sections, so 4 is not an option for me anymore. But we feel that 3 would be good. I don't want Kam and the next baby to be so far apart, so I figured I would get started. So a few months ago, went to my Dr and he gave me a prescription for Clomid (a.k.a. The Devil Pill). He decided to start me on a double dose of this medicine. The first month I took it, I prayed to please help me not be moody, please help me be patient, help me to not be emotional, and please help me get pregnant this month ... Please don't make me go through this again next month. So it began, and Heavenly Father can't help it, the medicine messes with my hormones, what is there to expect. The longer I am on the pill, the worse my emotions get. I was evil ... my poor family. With no luck this month i started my 2nd round. It has been worse then the first month ... I think I have cried every single day this month, over the silliest things. Jake is wonderful, he just hugs me and reminds me how much he loves me. People ask how I am, I just want to cry, for no reason. Marshall acts like a 5 year old and I scream at him. Anyway, there is my excuse, please be patient with me, I will try 2 more months and then I will be content with 2 kids :0)
But again .... I'm sorry. Everything this week, bugged me. For example, I got a call to meet with the bishopric, we all know that usually means you are getting a calling .... I was so mad, all day i was irritated, i went feeling feisty, poor counselor that had to meet with me ... i was nice and it was an easy and fun calling ... but this week, it didn't matter, nothing was okay, everything was bad :0) I think one day I cried, like bawled for a good 10 mins, 5 times in one day. poor Jake, but he would just hug me!! I really am thankful that clomid works for me and I can have children on this earth ... Because I know of many wonderful women who have went through the same crap with clomid, however it never worked for them, so I know I am blessed, but it is still hard to go through!

On to happier things ... Yesterday Jake took me on a lovely Valentine's Date before he had to go to work. We quickly grabbed a hamburger at McDonald's and then we went to the movie Blind Side. Can i just say that is my new favorite movie. Within 10 mins of the show, i was crying. Jake looked over and just smiled at me. But it was so great, a true, great story. I truly am Lucky, I have the greatest husband on earth. he is patient, caring, giving, loving, and good looking, a perfect father, and he supports our family. I love Jake and i am glad that we have been married for almost 10 years. I am so glad that I married someone who has similar interests as me, someone that enjoys adventure, and someone that likes things different then me, so that we can have our different personalities. I am also blessed with 2 amazing, crazy children. And I am and will be ever so grateful for them. I love to talk, and I am thankful that Jake is always a listening ear so that i can tell him everything, and even though sometimes he probably doesn't care, he always always listens.

To make my life a bit more crazy ... I started watching a 6 month old little girl 3 days a week and this week I am starting to watch a 6 year old after kindergarten. It will help bring in some extra money and if it makes me too crazy, well I can always go back to just Cilla. So I am going from being a Mom of two, to a mom of 2 plus 3 extra during the day ... wish me luck, I may need it for the start, but then it will be better.

Sorry for the long post, just felt like I needed to explain so those of you that have seen me this week don't think I am crazy or think I don't like you :0)

Well just waiting for some ladies we met in Cancun to email me some pics of our excursion they took for us and then I will update the blog with the rest of the pics, they are the better of the pictures!!